forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
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