an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
