The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Randomize