theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
