my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
