I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
