Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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