reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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