I molested 6 butterflies tonight
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
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