I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
