If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
