she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
