Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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