With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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