Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
my nose is crying tears of wow.
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