i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
