Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Randomize
