Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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