Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
