i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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