Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
