the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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