look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
