Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
