TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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