batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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