everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
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