My balls are so social today.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
