All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
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