OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
