My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
