he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
