he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
