hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
