Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I just want nice things and good sex
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize