Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
