No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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