Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
there was a trapeze. enough said
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
