I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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