I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize