Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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