Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Randomize
