Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
