He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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