He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
only if we run a train.
done.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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