Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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