Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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