I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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