The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
