in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Randomize