I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
