I have demons in me.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
