I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
