i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
