so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
He did a backflip because drugs
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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