He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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