return my video game
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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