i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
