remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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