Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
