let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Randomize
