you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
