talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
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