dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
