Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
