He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize