I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
