Your face is a jimmy john
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
