i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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