I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
as a side note pls kill me
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize